The Spaceman's Spacesuit

I knew a girl.
I made her cry
and then
I began to wake up from a dream
I had been having
since I was a boy
when the realization came to me
that everything is uncertain.
At that point
the dream started.
It was a dream
about isolation
from the world
and that uncertainty
always holds close
the true sting of disappointment.
Sometimes
this sting can come from others
and
sometimes it comes from within.

The dream
was about a spaceman
in his spacesuit.
I was the boy
inside the spaceman’s spacesuit.
Like many dreams,
I floated.
I floated above
a silent moon
in the black ink of space
that was splattered with stars,
distant and unthreatening.
The moon
lit up my faceplate
as I contemplated
it’s cratered surface.
The dead moon
hung so beautiful
before me
and
its silent face
made up my world.
Here I would float forever,
searching
for the source
of its forgiving light.
The kind of light
a spaceman could hide in.

As I began
to wake up
from this dream,
the unthreatening stars
that seemed so distant
began to twinkle
and sparkle
like diamonds.
Slowly
the twinkles of the stars
turned into the hard facets
of brilliant diamonds
that flew through the void
and began to cut
the spaceman’s spacesuit
I was dreaming and hiding in.
They cut the spacesuit to ribbons
and I was paralyzed with fear.
Suddenly,
I was naked and cold
but the diamonds
didn’t tear me apart.
No,
they splashed on my face
in the form of warm
salty tears
from a girl
I remembered
in a life I thought
was already lived and died.
I woke up
and turned away
from the dead moon
that had been my silent companion
for so long
and
that’s when I saw it.
The true source
of the moon’s forgiving light
was the cornsilk cheeks
of a beautiful girl
whose tears caught the shine
of the sun above our heads.